Nihon no Kurisumasu

December 25, 2004 6:20 PM (Yokohama)
December 25, 2004 4:20 AM (Ottawa)

Merry Christmas everyone!

I am celebrating Christmas this year at Lisa's apartment in Yokohama. It is a considerably different area than Shimodate. Even the little suburbs of this city are bigger than Shimodate.

Last night we went to an amusement park, it was one of my better Christmas eves. The two main highlights were the snow machine that sprayed fake snow over a crowd of excited Japanese people who don't really get real winter here, and a huge Feris wheel that had some amazing views.

I took a lot of pictures, but I can't seem to log into my FTP server, so I can't upload any of them. Maybe later.

On a less cheerful note it looks like I will be returning to Canada in less than two months. I cannot get my visa changed, and I am not certain about getting a job in China, so my Japanese journey is almost at an end. I hate thinking about it, but I do a lot of that lately.

Jen.

It is hard to know what to say when I think about her lately. I noticed during this visit that I manage to bring Jen's name into just about any topic Lisa and I discuss. Lisa finds it hard to believe that we will really end things when I leave Japan. Truthfully so do I, though I try to stick with that idea. Are Jen and I in love? Yes.

We will never say those words though, we both came into this with our eyes open. We knew we had a time limit, and we knew exactly when it was. Saying "I love you" would make keeping that far too difficult. As much as I want to be with Jen, I don't believe things would work out with us in two different countries. I would rather we ended things on a happy note, with everything between us going well, than to allow our relationship to die a slow wasting death by e-mail. I can kiss her goodbye when I leave Japan, and we will part knowing that we love each other (even if we will not say it) that is how things should end.